Well, that happened…
Bill Paxton died way too fucking soon. Moonlight won Best MOTHERFUCKING Picture! And I was longing for Friday on Sunday afternoon. That’s not a good way to live.
Nothing to see here.
I’m not buying anything. Really. I’m taking inventory. I don’t even know what I have. Until I do, I’m not buying anything I don’t need.
If I feel the urge, I’ll shop the stash. I remember the Christmas that I took a dictionary from my brother’s room, wrapped it and gave it to myself. I can get joy from things I already own. And yes, the last sentence doesn’t really work, having read the sentence that preceded it. You’d just have to be LittleMe or have questionable boundaries, which may actually be the same thing.
I’ve had a shitty week. Work sucks. The world sucks. And I’m not handling it well.
Nothing’s working.
“Bad” food doesn’t taste good enough. It can’t cause heartburn and be disappointing.
The spending high doesn’t last. I just have more stuff and nowhere to put it.
The wine isn’t working. The bottle is empty, the calories count and I’m not all that tipsy.
I’m not seeing anyone. So, the intimacy intramurals are cancelled.
I don’t need a weed habit, legal or kinda.
I need figure my way out of this. I need ways to get through the anxiety and frustration.
I know connecting deeply with my body will help.
First inclination, though, is to spend! Join a gym. Buy new outfits. Buy weights and other exercise-y things.
Guess what. I have things. I’ve got mats and weights and balls. At home. What I really need, is to be active. I need to do things. I need to swim and wander and breathe and sweat. A lot. Every day.
So that I don’t get caught up in the planning of, instead of the actual doing of, I’m just going to start somewhere. Then, see how it goes.
These Three:
Moonlight. The script. The greatness, is on the page.
I saw Get Out. It’s WILD. Def more thriller than horror. See it.
Prepping for more posts. Not sure if beauty or food will be first. What would you like to see?
Rufus&Clem Week Enders Playlist on Spotify
Putting together some mood music for the resistance. Be it to hold joy or for relative calm or just a soundtrack to badass-ery.
This weekend, I might be:
+ going to see Moonlight with a friend who’s been out of the country. He’s excused from the sideeye. I got the note from his mom.
+ going to the beach. I want to hear the waves.
+ looking for music to share.
What are you up to?