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please, let me explain | chicken stock

i know, i know. this is not how it’s supposed to happen.

If you knew the things I do to chickens, well, all poultry, you’d understand my hesitation and limitations.

I got shamed early.  My mother caught me and chided me.  I stopped and vowed to never bring home a whole bird again. Since I only eat the breast anyway, I thought I would be safe.

Then, early last summer, I kept reading about this chicken with milk in a pot. Jamie. Yeah. Fine.  I bought a whole chicken.  Brought it home.  And it happened.  Again.

I tried to get past it.  The chicken cooked up alright and fell off the bone.  But, with my actions weighing heavy on my heart, I couldn’t really enjoy myself.  I left it out overnight.  Threw the whole thing away the next day.

I gave it up for the summer.*  I couldn’t forget what I’d done.  But, I got interrogated.  Why? Why? Why? No chicken, really?  I had to try to find plausible reasons to defend the indefensible.  Because, hello, I eat bacon.

I was strong.  All fall, I think I may have had one piece of fried chicken breast from Von’s.  Cause it makes me feel Goooouuuhhhhhddddd. (♥: Will you ever let that Halle/Billy Bob moment go?) Nope.

Then, Thanksgiving came to town.  Excited and feeling festive, I had one problem.   Poultry.  If and how became concerns.  Because I was rolling solo dolo, turkey, too much.  Turkey breast, still too much.  Chicken, I didn’t think I could trust myself.

Options, I needed more.  I thought getting fried chicken was kinda wrong.  It was so un-Harvest Celebration-y.  I’d never bought rotisserie chicken from the grocery store.  Then it called to me from under the heat lamps.  Two days before the big day, I couldn’t leave it to chance.  I had to have a pre-dinner tasting.  Hello, exclamation point eating!

Yes.  I liked it.  Lots.  I picked over pieces that I, normally, sneered at.  What to do with the bones?  What to do with…ahhh.  Throw it in a pot.  Make some stock.**  EASY.  I tossed in some celery bits left over from the dressing.  Covered with water.  Let it simmer.  Ding, ding, ding!!!! We have a winner.

Look, I hope you’ll understand.  I guess it should be made from a bird that I actually cooked, but at least I’m not wasting the bones.  That’s good, right?  I know some would say just don’t eat chicken.  That’s just not going to happen.  I won’t lie.

Oh, you want to know why I can’t… Keep reading.

I got a second chicken. The frozen bones take up less space than more stock.

Hi, my name is Nikki and I dance with chickens.  The sink is the club and we get down.  It starts with the Twist.  I think I can stop at anytime, but I never do.  Sometimes, it’s a little Harlem Shake or a bit of Salsa.  Once we start dancing, it makes me sad to dig for the dirty bits.  Before you know it, I’m a sloppy sobbing mess trying to wash the insides.

I know I can’t not dance with the bird.  So, I will either buy it already juicy dripping good or get the skinless, boneless frozen breast planks.

N♥

*Well, with the exception of one family gathering.  You try turning down food around those women.

** It really was good.  I’ve used it in a bunch of things.  Most notably some killer gravy.

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thinking got me distracted | michael jackson

i really do it quite often.

I still don't know how, where or when I would have gotten this as a promo.

So, I’m working on a post about collections inspired by artist Lisa Congdon’s A Collection A Day, 2010 project.  I’ve been thinking about the things I brought with me from back east.  I kinda have stuff, but I don’t actively collect.  I just seem to keep some of the same kinds of things.  I’m documenting the few that have interesting stories or that tend to send me off thought wandering.

I was looking through my LPs to see if there was anything I wanted to shoot, when I realized that I hadn’t touched the 45s in ages.  I didn’t even know what was there.

I couldn’t believe what I found.  Just after Antidisestablishmentarianism, was Micheal Jackson’s Thriller leaning against the Purple Cat below.  It was this moment where I saw Junior High Me & Record Store Clerk Me giving each other the head nod of recognition as they passed each other in my memory.

Nikki♥

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where are my manners? | i thought you should meet

i brought home the wallflowers from the blood orange dance and they just make my heart sing.

Look what I got from my first Farmers’ Market visit of 2010.  Spinach, Swiss Chard, Tomatoes, Lemongrass, Onions and the reason for a weekend full of joy, Blood Oranges.

I got them from two different organic stalls.  One had pretty, pretty citrus.  The other, ummm, not so much.  But, there was something about my sweet wallflowers.  They were recently picked and dirty.  There was still part of the stem attached.  I was smitten.  I don’t know if i would have brought them home from a store like that.

Isn’t it sad how we are taught to judge produce?  It has to pass the shiny new car test.  Have you smelled some of that beautiful fruit at the store?  What do you mean you can’t smell anything?  Really? Each and every piece has to be spectacular.  How real or natural is that?

It’s got to look like what we think its supposed to look like, but what does it taste like?  And really does everything have to taste exactly the way it tasted before? I’m okay with it not.  As long as it’s full of personality.  A good one.

well, she's the only "pretty" one

Man, I am still feeling up my ugly blood oranges.  I can’t stop smelling them.  I know I’m supposed to be using them for the Can Jam, but I had to have my first taste of the season.  Okay, tastes, plural.  Yes, I ate a few.  Couldn’t stop myself.  Two were the deepest burgandy.  The other was flecked with different shades of orange and red.  It’s like each bit of pulp was given the choice of what flag to fly.

So, what am I going to do with them?  I think I’m going to go unbelievably lo-fi with it.  The ones I ate had most amazing flavor.   I think I just want to showcase that.  We’ll see.

I’m so glad I started playing around this early in the season.  I’m going to find as many ways as I can to preserve what really has become my favorite fruit.  I want the rest of the year filled with its brilliance.

Can you tell I dig blood oranges?  Don’t get me started talking about cheese.  I can’t even keep it in the house.

So, tell me, what cha got in the pot?

Nikki♥

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giggly and screechy | the can jam

this is going to be fun!

I’m about to head out to the farmers’ market in my neighborhood for the first time in over a month.  I’m so excited to see what they’ve got. I can’t wait to pile all that goodness on the table.

I’m a bit giggly because I’m participating in Tigress’ Can Jam.  Each month this year, we’re going to focus on preserving.  We’re turning our attention to good food and to traditions that are truly local and global.

In P & K's Yard

I feel lucky to not only making connections to long gone relatives and ancestors, but to the family members that are here and getting older.  I get to make new memories, too.  And share them with you.

So, here’s the jumpy part.  I’m eight days in and I haven’t the slightest idea what I’m going to do.  This month the spotlight is on citrus.  This should be easy, right.  I live in California.  Well, I want blood oranges.  I need blood oranges.  Don’t you see I’m blinded by my blood orange lust.

I haven’t come across any yet.  That could change today.  Or I could just get on with it.  Which is what I’m going to do.  I’ve got today and Hollywood on Sunday.  This weekend will be the start of the citrus days.  Or the continuation of the citrus days.  Tigress must have been reading my mind.  I’ve been super citrused for the last couple of weeks.

Time to get the tote bag and camera.  I’m coming back with something fun.  I promise.

Nikki♥

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start somewhere | from the inside

with all the John Witherspoon-ishness* you can muster, say it with me.  you’ve got to hy-drate.

My water consumption is on the did you say coffee? side.  I think it shows in my face.

Because I need to do better and start somewhere, I’ve added drink water to the 9thousandthingstodotoday list.  5 glasses.  W12345.

I really do have to tell myself how many and keep track.  I forget whole meals, so a glass or four of water is nothing.

I like water.  I like it room temp.  Sometimes with a sliver of cucumber.  Why I don’t drink enough of it?  I don’t know. (♥: You don’t like public restrooms.) Well, there is that.

So, in an effort to save face and who knows what else, I’m going all out with the water.  Along with actually taking the vitamins I bought and eating more vegetables.

This month is all about starting to build good habits.  Water’s been on my list all week.  I’ve not always gotten in the full five, but at least it’s been much more than the week before.

Nikki♥

*John Witherspoon in Boomerang.

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just a little sip | pickle brine

it goes down easy.

I haven’t really needed any help getting to the bottom of my brine, but I’ve been  looking for different ways to drink it.  The soju is calling, but I want other options.

On the hunt for ideas, I ended up on a site that indexed drinks by ingredient.  I realized how much going out has changed for me by just reading the names.  I know I used to drink Buttery Nipples* way back when, but there’s one called a Crotch Kicker.  Really?

I only found versions of Bloody Marys and Martinis.  Have you used your brine to spice up a cocktail?  Have you ventured beyond the Pickltinis and Briny Marys?

What about non-alcoholic drinks?  Have you added a splash of a pickle liquid to give juiced veggies or smoothies a kick?

I’ve taken to this pickling thing and would love to get some input and inspiration.

Nikki♥

*I was 22 and they were free.

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watch your mouth | nigella’s dense chocolate loaf cake

i can’t help myself.

Please tell me that sometimes bad words come-a-tumbling out when you make something that tastes better than you could have expected.   I’m not alone, am I?

Here’s the crazy part.  I had eaten most of the Nigella Lawson’s Dense Chocolate Loaf Cake cold, right out of the fridge.  It was fine.  Brownie-like.  Then, I kinda left cake out on the counter for a couple of hours.  I had another piece and started cursing.  Seriously.

It was everything everyone says.  Moist and heavy.  Rich, but not super sweet.  Decadent, but on the hush.  It’s not a cute cake.  The beauty is in its simplicity.

The Nikki Bits. Surprise!  I actually followed the recipe.  That was real work.  Plenty of alternating spoonfuls of boiling water and flour.  It was just me, a whisk and a bowl.  Surprise!  I added something else. I put in a tablespoon, I think, of instant espresso powder.  You know I can’t leave well enough alone.

I knew there was going to be a good bit of butter in it, but the night I baked the cake, my apt just smelled like trouble.  It’s like the air was sitting in a butter ride with chocolate calling shotgun.

What’s Next. Well, my favorite librarian* had suggested the recipe when she saw that I had the book on hold.  And since, somehow, another bag of bittersweet chocolate has moved in and refuses to pay rent, I think I’m going to make another loaf to give to the staff of my local.

Nikki♥

*Yes, I have a favorite librarian.  I♥Los Angeles Public Library.  There are some  some really cool folks at my local and the central branch.

*Update*… I thought I’d, you know, add the recipe.

Nigella’s Dense Chocolate Loaf Cake
adoringly adapted from Nigella Lawson’s How To Be A Domestic Goddess

1 cup soft unsalted butter
1 2/3 cup dark brown sugar
2 lg eggs, beaten
1 tsp of vanilla extract
4 ounces of really good bittersweet chocolate, melted
1 tsp of baking soda
1 1/3 cups of all-purpose flour
1 cup + 2 tblsps of boiling water

9×5 loaf pan
parchment paper

CLWEA* says: add espresso powder or fresh ginger.

Preheat oven to 375.

Put a baking sheet in the oven.  It will save you from any errant drippage later.  Grease and line your loaf pan.  Now, I’ve never kept parchment paper in the house.  I scoffed a bit when I saw the price for a roll at the grocery.  But, even, CLWEA didn’t want to chance the muy moist cake not coming out of the pan.

Melt chocolate.  I don’t have, wait for it, a microwave.  So I’m a bit old school.  Hell, I don’t even use the double boiler I have.  It’s just a bowl over a pot of gently simmering water.
Cream the butter and sugar either by hand or use a mixer.
Add the eggs and vanilla.
Fold in the chocolate after letting it cool slightly.
Nigella advises against overworking at this point adding that you want the ingredients just combined before you start to add the flour.
Add the baking soda to the flour.  Quick question: Are we all sifters? I was raised always sifting the flour, especially when incorporating other dry ingredients.  Here’s the slightly work-y part if you’re not using a mixer.  Seriously, my muscles are twitching from the memory.  Add the flour in alternating spoonfuls with the boiling water.  Yes, I said alternating spoonfuls.  You should get a fairly loose batter.
Pour into the lined loaf pan and bake for 30 minutes.
Turn the oven down to 325 and continue for another 15 minutes.
Okay, so with this cake, inserting a toothpick or knife won’t indicate doneness.  It’s going to come out with cake bits clinging.  Don’t worry about it.
Let the cake cool before turning it out.  I tend to bake this pretty late, so, I leave it out overnight.  I end up dreaming of chocolate with every buttery breath.
Now, the sinking part.  Nigella takes pains to prepare you for the un-prettiness due to a dense saggy middle.  I’ve made it where it sinks.  I’ve made it where it doesn’t.  Don’t worry about it either way.
Makes 8-10 slices

MoreNikkiBits: I’ve tried this three ways: recipe to the letter, with instant espresso powder and with fresh ginger.  Hands down, I’m so loving it with a tablespoon of freshly grated ginger.  I made it for an office potluck/baby shower thingy.  I had people following the smell of butter down the hall.  It was quite well-received.  Someone brought vanilla ice cream.  Someone else brought strawberries.  It all seemed to induce moans of decadent delight.   The best part about this dense beautiful thing was that it wasn’t so outrageously rich that you had to stop mid-slice and unbutton.  I’m kinda over icing right now, so this was so perfectly simple and not cloyingly sweet.  It’s just right.

What’sNext: Time to buy more chocolate.  There’s a going away/potluck thingy on Friday.  The Dense Beauty was requested.  I hope no on calls HR.  I don’t deserve fault or the praise.  This goodness is all Nigella.

*Can’t Leave Well Enough Alone

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dear ramen | it’s not you, it’s me.

this isn’t goodbye, but…

I think we need some time apart.

You make things so easy.  When you’re around, you’re all I can think about.  I, honestly, don’t know how to not lose myself in you.  We have such a great time together.  But, we just aren’t good for me.

I’m still going to hang out with some of our friends.  I’m just not sure you and I should talk.

I’m sorry.

I’ll miss you.

I wish you the best.

Nikki♥

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and so it goes | 2010 determinations

i get more done this way.

I decided about a year ago that I had to make a choice.  I’d spent a long time defining myself by who and what I wasn’t, by what I wasn’t going to do and by the job I used to have.  When I thought about how I described what I was doing now, it was never really all that positive, clear or present.  I realized that changing how I saw and spoke about my place in the world would effect how I smiled and said hey.  Hey! I still have to catch myself, but I’m so much happier.

I started writing my annual list of determinations about 3 years ago as a part of my Buddhist practice.  It challenged me to more actively participate in this thing called my life.  Somehow, I thought that if I just let my future kinda happen to me that I wouldn’t be as disappointed by not getting the things I wanted. (♥:You know that never really works, right?)  Yep.

So, I’ve got a list.  I’m a Virgo with all kinds of lists.  And I am still a good person if things shift to the next year.  Because, most likely, the work continues.

It’s been interesting to look back at what I thought was important.  I’ve seen things change, expand and disappear from the list.  And I’ve seen the things big and small that have just kinda happened.  From quitting smoking to treating myself more kindly to becoming a better friend.

So here are a bunch for twentyten from the big list that I plan to keep with me as encouragement to stay unstuck.

I am determined to…

Do what I’m good at and do it enough to get better. Get on with the get better part.

Do what I say I’m going to do. Especially, if I’m the only one holding me accountable for my actions or inaction.

Start somewhere. Anywhere.

Eat better. And that begins with breakfast.

Champion & Support. Look for it.  Find it.  If I like it, then talk about it.

Just let it go… especially if worrying about what someone else thinks keeps me from being me.

Keep smiling and have fun.

Stay curious and compassionate.

How are you determined to move forward in 2010?

Nikki♥

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my favorite mistake | my first quiche

it was wrong from the start, but i kept on anyway.

I’m into the idea cooking from what’s in the fridge.  Now that I actually put things in it, I don’t want some random food blog induced epiphany that will send me to the grocery store.  You know, I quite like the grocery, but too many things are going to waste with each trip.

I knew I had eggs.  I’d remembered David Lebovitz’s post on French tart dough. And there’s this scene in I’ve Loved You So Long that is just the family at dinner, but it is stuck in my head.  So, I decided that I wanted to make a quiche.

I watched a Martha clip.  Pulled out Georgeanne Brennan’s French Veg Cookbook.  Then, I opened the fridge.  Tah-freakin-dah.  Homemade goat cheese, scallions, garlic chives, and crushed ginger.

The nikki bit. I didn’t follow a recipe for the eggy bit. (♥: Really?) I used 3 eggs.  Buttermilk and plain yogurt replaced the cream.  I added in a tablespoon of flour.   Salt and pepper to taste.  Then I added the eggs and chopped garlic chives.

Well, what happened? I wasn’t using a tart pan and didn’t evenly work the dough in the pan I was using.  Hey, it was my first ever crust. So, when it came out uneven, I had the urge to, you know, touch it.  Poke it, rather and made a hole.  I wasn’t going to chuck it and start over.  So, I just put in the scallions and goat cheese.  Poured the custard and and stuck it in the oven for a half hour.

Favorite mistake, huh? Ummm, yes.  This is good and super onion-y and garlic-y.  I will have to brusha brusha brusha before I speak to another human.

Nikki♥