catching up with things i loved and left…
Saw Meshell Sunday. She was one of the featured performers with the Miguel Atwood-Ferguson Ensemble at the JazzReggae Festival at UCLA. She did Love Song#2 from Comfort Woman as well as a tribute to Gil Scott-Heron. I haven’t been able to get her out of my head since.
I’ve been feeling out of sorts since Thursday. The death of Gil Scott-Heron, Friday, deepened whatever funk I’d wandered into. Then, she played and I wanted more.
At some point this morning I figured out how to shake the ache. It was Bitter. Her meditations on desire, fault, blame, longing and pain that seductively and beautifully paint the dull persistent ache of melancholy louder than any all-out wail of loss.
She lets me be in my sadness without sinking further into the grips of despair. She doesn’t tell me it’ll be better. She just quietly lures me away, toward a bit of honesty, vulnerability and hope.
Somehow, I’d forgotten what Bitter does for me. Maybe on purpose.
N♥